whispers in one ear

As I was driving back from campus just an hour ago, this silver MPV was in front of me on the road. It wasn't going very fast but that's okay because the red Hilux before it has not sped up yet cos it just came out from a junction.

After the Hilux sped up, and the car in front of me did not, then I got a bit annoyed. Cos it was going quite slow. I didn't dare overtake it cos we were coming to a bend in the road.

Then I noticed that the car was going quite funny. It looked like it was being very careful about something. That's when I realised that it has been avoiding all the puddles on the road. And that it let the Hilux go further to get some distance between his car and the Hilux.

You know why?? Cos his car was still sparkling clean!! Hahaha. No wonder he was being so cautious and keeping distance between his car and other cars.

Ah!! Made me SO WANT TO run into a huge puddle and cause a tidal wave to envelope the entire car.

It had rained earlier that day. No wait, it POURED.

You know what it's like? It's as if you were a little boy who was out in the backyard together with your little brother after the rain has stopped, and you are both playing with a huge muddy puddle. Those things always looked so tempting when we were young, didn't it?

After playing you are both almost completely covered in mud and then your little sister walks out the front door to call the both of you in. And mommy has just given her her bath and she's wearing her new pretty white dress.

That's when you and your little brother starts to give chase and as you managed to grab hold of your little sister's shoulder/hand/dress, you hug and rub mud into your little sister's dress until she starts to cry and that's when the fear settles in. You try to calm her down and tell her to stop crying and you start apologising, saying that you did not mean to do it. (Yeah, right)

Alas, it is too late and mommy and daddy comes out from the house furious. Then comes the all too predictable session of flogging.

But no, I decided not to give in to temptation and let the silver MPV driver have a little bit more time to hang on to his sparkling clean car. We all know it's not going to last long anyway. ;)

unrelated paragraphs

I want a tripod. I do! I need one to do really nice still shots. And to camwhore better. Wahahaha. Actually, I want to try photo stiching but I can't really do that very well unless I had a tripod, now can I? (Yes, I can but I still want one, ok?)

Did I mention that I cut my hair last Sunday? I SO regret doing it. And it was so hard for me to get it to a length I was proud of. Hmph.

the bf says to kickass, i said i'll think about it

I'm sitting here on my bed right now with only my aromatheraphy lamp as company to help chase away the shadows.

I'm contemplating. Contemplating about nothing important. Nothing that ought to be considered important as it does not sustain life, nor does it contribute to society, other than maybe as a form of entertainment. Although I question how entertaining it could be.

I can't believe that I'm actually thinking about it. Maybe I'm just that bored that I am. Maybe I just want to try something new. But I'd really hate losing.

Maybe I just want to be pampered for awhile. Maybe I want to feel pretty again. Maybe it'd be something memorable I did for the year that I turn 21.

Sigh. The boyfriend approved although I don't know if he still will after he learns the details. Even I don't know if I'll still be willing to give it a chance if I did.

We'll see.. we'll see..

so angry, so confused, so sad, so hungry too

Ever since I woke up this morning, I've been having this OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG feeling. I'm feeling SO INCREDIBLY guilty. And I'm SO AFRAID that something bad is going to happen today. Maybe I shouldn't even go out today. Something bad's going to happen and I know it!

I woke up in a panic. I woke up at 6.30am and I've been tossing and turning in bed until 8. Just cos of awful feeling! So I messaged Mark asking if it's okay if I called him at work. I needed someone to calm my nerves down.. I felt better after the call but I almost started crying.. cos I spotted a big cicak climbing up and down the wall nearby.

Stupid la, I KNOW! But I can't help that I have a friggin' phobia for lizards.

I felt better... but now I'm OMGíng all over again! Because because because............. we reinstalled the OS for my new laptop yesterday. WHY WHY WHY did we do it??? *bashes head against minivan*

Because the stupid thing was showing me blue screens for the past week..... and I was SO SCARED THAT SOMETHING WAS WRONG WITH THE LAPTOP. So to be safe we reinstalled the OS. I didn't want to tell my dad cos if I did.... he's gonna blame me for not taking care of the laptop.

BUT THEY HAVE NO IDEA HOW MUCH CARE I've been giving it. =( Cos I ::heart:: it.

If not for the fact that it keeps crashing. *bursts into tears*

BUT BUT BUT!!!!!!!! The last few days... like, from Thursday till the weekend... it didn't show me any blue screens. Except for ONE TINY TIME in the middle of that time.

So now I'm thinking that MAYBE we shouldn't have had to reinstall Windows. Cos now... it's like having to relearn everything all over again........ Cos before I had everything the way I wanted it to be with the exception of the occuring BLUE SCREEN OF DOOM! Sigh.

Mistake? Cos now I can't verify my friggin' ORIGINAL security centre... cos when my dad got the laptop, he was the first person to touch it, etc etc etc. So his emails and passwords are the ones verifying all the various programs in the laptop. Fuck.

*bashes head against wall*

I'm having an anxiety attack.

saw three

I just watched Saw III this week! I know it's been out for ages already and that most people would probably have seen it already. Wani and I have been planning to watch this movie together for ages and she finally bought a DVD of the movie so we finally got our chance to watch it.

Ooooh! The third installment for the Saw horror flick series has definitely been the goriest of the lot and it came with a surprise ending too. I like how clever the movie is.

And that Jigsaw dude?! Isn't he so incredibly awesome?? I mean, he's dying! He's minutes from death and he still managed to concoct a brilliant plan to test his new collection of unworthy individuals.

Wani says that her favorite character is the mastermind himself. She says that regardless of what he does to the other characters in the movie, he comes out still looking like a good guy to her. Eeeee. Twisted.

But I get it though. Because all the people he chooses have done something wrong. Although, no one deserves what he put them through. None.

I've never cringed so much watching a movie before. It was that disgusting. Go watch it if you haven't! ;)

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Walau eh.. I just found Rachel's blog. Mana boleh nihhhhhh... never tell other people wan. And how come I didn't find out earlier. :-/

After reading her entries I'm like, going psycho already. Waseh. Rachel laughs like a maniac when writing the blog entries. Hahaha! I can imagine her typing away on her keyboard going, WAHAHAHA! ... *tap tap tap* ... HAHAHA!! ... *tap tap* ... HEHEHE ... every few sentences or so.

Aduh... reading her blog also makes me laugh. Involuntarily. Cos she laughs sooooo much. Now I get it when people whom I chat to online ask why I laugh so much... aduhhhh... I must look like a maniac to them.

not a blogger

I'm bored.

I'm getting tired of this whole blogging scene. I was thinking of either just stopping it altogether or moving on and making a new blog just because I'm getting so jaded from this one. I know it will be hard to quit especially since I'm somewhat of an addict.

Or was.

I haven't felt like one in ages. You know an addicted blogger behaves. They live their lives and have cameras ready in case they catch something interesting so that they would have something to show others when they get back home and get back in front of their computers and blog. Or when something interesting happens, they go "Oh! I will definitely put this into my blog! I can't wait to tell everyone and receive their comments."

The more "anti-social" and depressed bloggers would whine and whine and whine. About nothing but themselves. But they will still blog because they believe that they have no one but their blog. Their blog is their security blanket and although they act as though they don't care, they do.

Then there are those who glorify themselves. The terribly vain. Those who blog to be famous. Who try so terribly hard to suck traffic just to be known. I think I've said enough.

There may be more categories in which you can place certain bloggers into. There are some who may be the exception to the rule, of course. These people are the ones who do manage to entertain, to address the issues, to keep others up to date. These people, although may be able to fit in either one or several of the categories, are only different because they are real.

I don't feel like anyone of the above. My life involves nothing too shocking nor extreme. Nor do I go clubbing. I'm not pretty. I'm not depressed enough to act all emo. I'm not doing this for fame. I have no new discoveries or ground shattering lessons nor any wise words to share.

My life at the moment, although far from being perfect, is rather dull, stable, and as uninteresting as it can be. I'm sorry I cannot be as honest as I used to be and that may be the saddest thing, really.

I do really hate myself for turning boring.

fingers crossed part 2

Yups, I was right. They only gave us back our original router. Booooooo!

But they said that their supplier tested it and found out that it was fine. So, they figured that when they tested it, their own company line was down so that was why when they tried it out it looked as though the machine wasn't working.

Am yet to hook it up again. Lazy.

my bad karma just arrived

OH NO OH NO OH NO!!
Yes. I'm. f r e a k i n g. Out.
I FORGOT about my violin lesson this morning!
Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh...
.
.
.
.
.
*starts bashing head against wall*

fingers crossed

Last night, I over to Boulevard to try exchange the router we bought on Friday just last week. The first guy I talked to was alright.. he was telling me that they can't do that right now cos their technicians have already gone back home.

Then some other guy came up to me, asking what was wrong. So I told him that I had reason to believe that my router was faulty because when we use it, regardless of whether we are connecting to the internet via wireless or via the lan cables, it was slow.

Then he asked, are you sure it's not the line that's the problem?

I said, yes, I'm sure. Because the reason why we bought this new router was because our old router back home recently failed on us. Because our old set up had a seperate modem and router, and only cos the router failed, I was still able to test the line by hooking up the modem to the phone line and then the modem right into my pc, and it worked just fine that way.

In fact, that's how I'm online right now.

Then he asked, who configured the router for me. I said, my dad.

I'll only start dealing with all these kinda stuff once I get a place of my own. Hehehe.

Anyways, he was talking in a really rude way to me lah.. like I don't know what I was doing and that the router wasn't faulty and that we are too incompetent to set up a network back home.

I don't blame him lor.. I was patient the whole time he was trying to talk and explain to me what was wrong and I could see it on his face that he didn't believe a single word I was saying. I understand because the general public can be quite dumb at this kinda thing.

But lah.. give me the benefit of a doubt, can? What what.. just cos I'm a silly little girl who came by all by herself, is it? Lucky I also know how dumb people can be so I didn't lash out at him for treating me that way.

But they told me that they would not be able to exchange my router for a new one. Only their supplier can do that. And the only way that they can get their supplier to exchange it for a new one is to let their technicians check it out for me.

So I returned this morning, together with Wani, to let them handle it. Then you know what or not?

An hour later after they've tried to set the settings right and all... they said to me. "Err... okay. You give us your name and your phone number then we'll call you when we get a new router from our supplier."

Muahahahahaha. In your face! IN YOUR MOFO FACE!

I asked them how long before they would contact me again, and they told me to give them 2-3 days.

But at 2pm just now, they called me up, saying that they already got the router. Huh!! That's only 2 HOURS, okay??

So... right now I'm wondering if they're lying to me... possibly just giving me the router that we originally bought back or what. Of course I have to be suspicious.. if someone tells you that the whole process would take 2-3 days but only took 2 hours in the end, you'd feel the same way I do.

Hopefully my swearing at them didn't equal bad karma for me. Haha.

i would very much prefer to be romanced first, thank you very much

Talk about the changing times. People nowadays don't even bother getting to know one another before diving right into a relationship.

easter virgil

I belum mandi lagi. Muahahaha.

Just want to blog. Tell a story about my sweet mean evil baby. Went for Easter Virgil mass last Saturday which started at 8pm. Mark went with me after I told him that I probably won't join him for dinner with his friends cos I wanted to go to church. Although he grumbled cos he was too lazy to go.

I don't blame him though.. cos it's Holy Week.. he's been going to church since Thursday for Holy Thursday and Good Friday.. then Saturday night go for Easter Virgil again.. and then on Sunday morning, his family was planning on going to Easter Sunday mass at Carmelite and over there, the masses start early at 7am.

But he came along with me anyway eventhough he put on a grumpy face. :P Macho konon.

He came over at about 5 or 6pm and we prepared the candles we were gonna use during the mass in my room. Made 6 candles for everyone only to find out that my aunt and cousins have already prepared their own. -_-"

Didn't have dinner. =( No time for it. I figured that the mass would probably only last about 3 hours max. I was sure I could tahan starving for that long.

During the mass, my candle kan.. the wax kept falling on my fingers no matter what I tried to do to prevent it. Mark tried to take the candle away from me cos I kept going, "Ouchh.. ow! Owwy..." and making noise but not my fault, right?

Not like I wanted to cry out in pain... it's just something that happens, right? But then I took my candle back from him. Cos eheh... I'm very degil! Stubborn to the bone. I made that candle and said that I would be using that one, so I very well am going to!

But that didn't stop the hot wax from still dripping onto my fingers. Heh.

Outside the church, they had a table of paper stuff which you can place your candle so that the hot wax doesn't get to your fingers. I took one, in fact, I had double protection! One layer which I had made at home, and another that I took again in church.

No use wan. Either that, or it's a sign that I'm a horrid person. I would prefer to think that it's the first reason. Heh heh heh.

Anyways, the mass ended only at midnight. So yes, it was a FOUR hour mass! By the end of it, I couldn't even walk right. To tell the truth, my vision was also getting kinda fuzzy and I felt like passing out but didn't.

Mark very nasty. Didn't even notice. Walk ahead of me somemore. I felt like a zombie. An undead. My stomach was very much in pain. I haven't eaten since maybe 2pm. Even then, I didn't eat much. And I didn't have breakfast either. Smart, I know.

After that, we went to eat at this coffee store opposite Boulevard. Finally managed to get some food into my stomach but that didn't make it any better~ It felt better at first.. but after awhile... sakit gila!

My aunt dropped us all home, and I hurried up into bed cos I needed to lie down. Then Mark rubbed my tummy until it felt all better.

I wish I could let it seem like Mark's a good boyfriend and all... caring and very aware of how his girlfriend is feeling but he really isn't that kinda guy. =( I had to ask him to do it for me.

Yalah. My boyfriend is very clueless. He doesn't know how to manja people. So no chance for me to be all manja. Cos if not to my boyfriend, who else can I be like that to. Nguh.

Yes, I very manja wan lah! But not like I'll do that in public. Even that, I think it's gross. Two people so absorbed in one another? That they don't even notice other people around them. Ew. Althoughhhhhh.... I would do it to gross people out. Be all "lovey dovey". Eyer.

Nolah... my bf is too "macho" to act like he cares although he does. Cos sometimes he does slip up. :P And that's when I love him most. He says that it cramps his style... whatever that may be.

Needless to say, I missed Easter Sunday mass and so did Mark. So did my brother. So did my aunt and my cousins. Lousy people, I know.

i need money, and a lot of it

So sad! My old router finally crashed and burned. So last Saturday, we went out to buy a new router. But still very sadly! It doesn't seem to be doing a very good job. It's kinda like, gambling with it. Whether or not it wants you to be able access the internet. Damn. The thing sucks. But for some reason, it's alright when connecting wirelessly with my brother's computer.

Might be because he has a D-Link dongle. Maybe. And the router has issues with laptops. Grr!

----------------------------------------

I think I'm starting to get the hang of using Dreamweaver. Just need to work more on perfecting my design. Still looks rather boring. I have this project where my groupmates and I have to develop an educational software for a children's home in India. We came up with the idea of creating offline websites for our "educational software".

I have my fingers crossed that my groupmates aren't so tacky. Lol. But I will fight to keep the website as user friendly and easy on the eyes as possible. I would have to stay far far away from using tacky colours, using tacky animated gifs. Urgh. The thought of all that is making me shudder.

Usually I would opt for a website to be minimalistic, as you can see from this blog. But kids would love colour. Kids would love interactive objects. I don't think we have to worry about loading time since the website would be offline. Not online. Yups..

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I wish we had Carls Jr. here... =( The first and last time I had something from Carl's Jr was earlier this year when I was in Singapore. Oooohhh... their burgers were huge... and they tasted so good. Nothing like the small limp loser burgers that we get here in KFC and McDonalds.

Oh, and Sugar Bun. I don't even eat burgers. Cos they don't fill me up as much as I would like them to. But if we had a Carls Jr. here, I wouldn't mind them.

Oh oh.. I also wish we had the Manhattan Fish Market here. I've been craving their prawns.

Urgh.. and how about Chili's? I want I want I want. I loved their dessert. I forgot what they called it.. But I want to have their yummy ice-cream cake that is like, a lot of vanilla ice-cream on top of this oreo like cookie bottom. Mmmmmm....

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Mark doesn't want to talk to me. He's so mean. =(

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And I need money for:

1. a new router
2. to fix my handphone, maybe get a new one? Teehee
   
3. to fly over the ocean to eat good food
4. to get my own laptop
5. to buy a new car

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Yerrrrr...... headache. I wish I had pictures to post. I need more colour on my blog. Bwahaha.

the perodua kelisa and malaysian pride

Mark just passed me a link to BBC. There was an article there about how Malaysia is attacking Top Gear's host Jeremy for saying that one our Malaysian cars is one of the worst in the world. No need to even say what car that is. I'm sure a lot of you all know which one he has reviewed before. The Perodua Kelisa. Here's the article:

Malaysia lambasts Top Gear host

Jeremy Clarkson thinks Perodua Kelisa sounds like a disease

Top Gear host Jeremy Clarkson has come under attack in the Malaysian parliament for labelling one of the country's cars the worst in the world.

The BBC presenter has been filmed attacking the Perodua Kelisa with a sledgehammer before blowing it up.

But minister Abdul Raman Suliman defended the nation's car industry, saying Mr Clarkson was like a football commentator who cannot play football.

He told MPs, Perodua had not received a single complaint from British owners.

He added that the comments were made merely to boost sales of the Top Gear magazine.

'Soulless'

Mr Clarkson has voiced his frustrations with the small three-cylinder model in both magazine articles and on the Top Gear motoring show.

In one article, he said its name was like a disease and suggested it was built in jungles by people who wear leaves for shoes.

And on the show, he described it as "unimaginative junk, with no soul, no flair and no passion".

He then smashed it, hung it from a crane with a one-tonne weight attached, before blowing it up.

Perodua is Malaysia's second national carmaker and began producing small compact models in 1995.

[Link]

Haha! After reading all that.. I'm so damn embarrassed to say that I'm Malaysian. I am totally on Jeremy Clarkson's side on this one. I'm sorry for all you Kelisa drivers out there. Not that the car is totally horrid. It's just one of those cars you would go for because it's affordable. Nothing wrong about that at all!

And on the show, he described it as "unimaginative junk, with no soul, no flair and no passion".

It's true anyway. Just take a look at it. It's all been done before! Sure, it's cute. But that's the extent of it. Whoever designed it did nothing innovative nor memorable about the car.

In one article, he said its name was like a disease and suggested it was built in jungles by people who wear leaves for shoes.

Think about it. It's so true.

But minister Abdul Raman Suliman defended the nation's car industry, saying Mr Clarkson was like a football commentator who cannot play football.

I guess the guy was just doing his job as a Malaysian but I doubt he really gave a damn about the whole issue. I'm guessing he was the one who always got picked on to say stupid points about why whoever they are currently attacking was wrong for doing so.

But honestly! How can you say that he's just like a football commentator who cannot play football. Obviously he can drive. He's got a successful show that has been running for years, on which he does a lot of driving. Like, duh!

Malaysians can be too proud sometimes that even their points don't make sense sometimes. Sigh. Want to attack, at least attack do it with some intelligence!

He then smashed it, hung it from a crane with a one-tonne weight attached, before blowing it up.

What?? Can't someone have a little bit of fun? Haha. I actually managed to catch the episode of this show on tv. It was so funny.


Bwahahahaha! Hilarious! Okay.. I take back what I said about them doing nothing innovative. Yeah! Now with built in Bluetooth Technology! Damn you Malaysians. You all crack me up sometimes. Sometimes. Most of the time, you guys just piss me off. But I'm glad for a change this time. ;)

it was a good day

Currently giving a listen to the latest Dixie Chicks album. =) So far so good.

I haven't been updating this blog. In fact, I haven't much been able to come here and actually sit and type. But I'm gonna try just because I want to. I want to procrastinate. Yes, I have a tutorial tomorrow which I haven't yet completed. Or am yet to start. Also a template to come up with for my EWB project.. and an Electrical Systems assignment that I have due Thursday.

I had such a good time yesterday. I had class from 10am all the way till 7pm but I didn't mind because Mark was with me on campus all day yesterday. I wish I could've met him earlier.. or maybe been with him longer...? I don't know. I just wish I've managed to experience that whole... boyfriend girlfriend going to the same campus thing. Haha.

Yesterday, I brought Mark to one of my lectures. Simply because I wanted him to check out this new unit that has been added to the course. I think he enjoyed the lecture. It's so funny though to see him bonding with my other coursemates. I'm sure they all wondered who he was although I think now they should stop teasing one of my other coursemates about always hanging out with me now.

Oh yeah, he was around on Monday because it was a public holiday back in Brunei so he had a day off and decided to stay a day longer in Miri. =) Then he decided to go to campus because he wanted to find out if he was still popular. Turns out that he is. Lol! Kidding kidding. I have no idea why he decided to spend the day in campus. I hope that it was to spend more time with me.

Anyways, I went out for lunch to KSL. Drove there from campus and met up with Mark and Lawrence. Mark ordered some seafood omelet thing. I ordered some "special" fried kuay tiaw. Lawrence had the chicken gordon bleu. Mark's order came first. Unfortunately for him because I was starving and could help but steal some if not most of his food. Muahaha. I know no one wants to date me anymore after reading that sentence.

But I did share my food with him afterwards! Although I think I ate most of my own food as well.. Hmmmm. I'm such a pig!

Later I drove back to campus (by myself) cos Mark had his own car. We both had trouble finding parking spaces. So bloody full! But I managed to finally find one. Although it was at the very end of the parking lot.... and my classes are all on the OTHER end of the parking lot.

Eh, you know. There was this one RED SAVVY whose owner is a total fucktard. He very obviously parked his car across TWO spaces. His/her car was almost totally horizontal opposed to how we more civilized people park our cars. After that, I started having daydreams of throwing a matching red brick at it's bloody windshield. But I couldn't do that of course. The main thing stopping me from doing it was yeah, I didn't have a spare red brick with me.

This morning whilst driving to school, I felt like maybe running my own, "drive safely" campaign. Because as I was driving to school earlier this morning, I got stuck behind this lousy woman driver. You pssssh, you lousy girls. You all know you suck at driving. Just admit it. Guys aren't being sexist towards you. It's just very very true that you people just c a n ' t s e e m t o g r a s p t h e c o n c e p t o f d r i v i n g!

Even though its so fucking simple! One of my pet peeves are women drivers. Honestly. Everytime a guy goes, "Argh. Women drivers! Oh.. opps... sorry.." cos they realize I'm there with them. I'll go, "Yeah! Lousy women drivers!! They drive like shit, don't they??"

Anyways, for my campaign, I want to make banners or something.. put them up along the roads with motivational words like:

"Miri drivers are so fucked up!"

"Hey fuckstick. Up yours."

"How about a scratch on your car?"

"How about a brick through your window?

"Shucks. You all paid to get through driving school, didn't you."

Or other similar sayings.

Hahaha. After I got home from campus yesterday I was almost totally wiped out! I had my dinner.. I went online for a while.. before showering.. continued online.. and fell asleep! I don't know how long I managed to pass out while chatting to others. Hahaha. But as soon as I got up, I said goodbyes cos I kept falling asleep. Very funny leh. I've never been so sleepy in a long time before that I actually managed to fall asleep like that. Actually, I fell asleep during my math lecture as well yesterday! Fuyoh!

I honestly have not fallen asleep like that in ages. It might be because
101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101
101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101
101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101
101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101
101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101
101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101101
Opps. It all came out as binary? What's up with that? Hmmmmmm.