the bf says to kickass, i said i'll think about it

I'm sitting here on my bed right now with only my aromatheraphy lamp as company to help chase away the shadows.

I'm contemplating. Contemplating about nothing important. Nothing that ought to be considered important as it does not sustain life, nor does it contribute to society, other than maybe as a form of entertainment. Although I question how entertaining it could be.

I can't believe that I'm actually thinking about it. Maybe I'm just that bored that I am. Maybe I just want to try something new. But I'd really hate losing.

Maybe I just want to be pampered for awhile. Maybe I want to feel pretty again. Maybe it'd be something memorable I did for the year that I turn 21.

Sigh. The boyfriend approved although I don't know if he still will after he learns the details. Even I don't know if I'll still be willing to give it a chance if I did.

We'll see.. we'll see..